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You Need Boundaries
- May 03, 2026 / Joshua Ott
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that saying “yes” is always good and saying “no” is selfish, but over time that mindset leads to burnout, resentment, and strained relationships. Looking at the life of Jesus, we see a different model—one where He regularly stepped away, said no to expectations, and protected time with God, even when people needed Him. The takeaway is clear: if Jesus, who loved perfectly, had boundaries, then we need them too. Healthy boundaries don’t push people away—they actually protect your soul, your relationship with God, and your ability to love others well. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say no.
KEY VERSES:
- Mark 1:35–38
- Matthew 14:22–23
- Luke 5:16
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Series Context: How Not to Ruin Everything
- This series is all about relationships—and getting honest about our role in them.
- Shift from “fix them” → “what do I need to change?”
- Theme: Boundaries Matter
- We’ve been trained since childhood: yes = good, no = bad.
- This leads to overcommitting, burnout, and guilt.
- The Problem: Saying Yes to Everything
- We say yes out of:
- guilt
- fear of disappointing people
- pressure and manipulation
- Result: exhaustion, resentment, strained relationships
- We say yes out of:
- Jesus Modeled Boundaries
- Mark 1:35–38 → Jesus steps away to pray despite pressure
- Matthew 14:22–23 → sends people away to rest and recharge
- Luke 5:16 → “Jesus often withdrew”
- This wasn’t random—it was a pattern
- Key Insight
- If Jesus could leave needs unmet, so can you
- You are not responsible for everything and everyone
- Why Boundaries Matter
- They protect:
- your soul
- your relationship with God
- your relationships with others
- Burnout actually hurts the people you’re trying to help
- They protect:
- What Boundaries Look Like
- Clear and intentional
- Communicated out loud
- Protected consistently
- Sometimes awkward—and that’s okay
- How to Set Boundaries (Practical Steps)
- 1. Get clear → Where are you exhausted or resentful?
- 2. Set them early → don’t wait for pressure
- 3. Communicate clearly → say it out loud
- 4. Hold the line → don’t cave when it’s tested
- 5. Let it be awkward → discomfort is part of growth
- Big Idea
- Saying no strengthens your yes
- Saying no can actually be one of the most loving things you do
- Final Challenge
- Take care of your soul
- Set boundaries like Jesus did
- Stop living under pressure and expectations
TALK ABOUT IT:
- Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to always say yes?
- What fears come up when you think about saying no?
- How have a lack of boundaries affected your relationships?
- What stands out to you about how Jesus handled expectations and pressure?
- Why do you think we feel guilty when setting boundaries?
- What is one area where you know you need to set a boundary right now?
- How could saying no actually improve your relationships?
- What would it look like to prioritize your relationship with God this week?
APPLY IT:
- Identify where you feel most drained, overwhelmed, or resentful.
- Recognize that not every request deserves a yes.
- Set one clear boundary this week in a specific area of your life.
- Communicate your boundary honestly and directly.
- Practice saying “no” without over-explaining or apologizing excessively.
- Protect time for rest, reflection, and connection with God.
- Pay attention to guilt—it doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong.
- Remember: taking care of yourself helps you love others better.
Born and raised in Schuylkill County, Josh is passionate about Grace being a church that reaches the entire county. He drives the vision, content, clarity, and leadership cohesion at our church. Josh loves old Harleys, fly-fishing, and Philly sports, but not nearly as much as a he loves spending time with his family.